When Life Seems Unfair: There Is Immeasurable Beauty In Contrast
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (ESV)
Adobe Creative Suite is a happy place for me! I like designing things that are looked at and I like looking at things that are designed well. Every drive in the car is like a stroll through a museum of logos and advertisements that are to be appraised. I've come to realize that good design is simple and points the eye through the intended flow to a singular message. Some of the tools at the designer's disposal to achieve this is positioning, image/font size, blank space, hue, saturation and contrast. Reds have more fiery emotion when lined up against cool blues. A sharp image is brought to attention when overlaid on a blurred background. White pops when paired with black.
Contrast is necessary when telling a story
God uses contrast and it's peppered all over the Bible: Israel’s slavery and freedom, their wilderness wandering hungry days and their manna/quail-filled days, Job’s wealth and public esteem and the loss of it all (subsequently, restored again), God’s nearness and farness, and His love and His justice to name a few. He, like any thoughtful designer, communicates a message through these differences. So instead of hinging our joy on what happened to us today (fixating on one pixel or small cluster of pixels), as is our tendency, zooming out will reveal reasons for darkness.
Here’s what I don’t want you to miss: Dark days are a sign of God’s involvement. He sees your tears and deeply feels your pain. And He's right there with you. The frustration you feel over your own apathy, He feels with you. When your gut hollows out because of guilt or shame, so does His. When your pillow is soaked and nostrils are coarse because of the waywardness of a loved one, heaven cries too.
But just as darkness was never our beginning, it is neither our end. Light looms.
The same God that leads us into triumph holds our hand in tragedy
Take a look at the extremes of this list in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8:
- Give birth – die
- Plant – uproot
- Kill – heal
- Tear down – build up
- Weep – laugh
- Mourn – dance
- Throw stones – gather stones
- Embrace – shun embracing
- Search – give up as lost
- Keep – throw away
- Tear apart – sew together
- Be silent – speak
- Love – hate
- War – peace
It is important to understand that this is not a bullet-point list of a good vs. bad dichotomy. I’ve bolded half the list that most people would likely welcome in their lives; but notice that the perceived positive ones are not consistently mentioned first or last. I believe this is intentional because God is not categorizing half the list as good and half as bad; rather He is stating them as to-be-expected extremes of a grander story that is wholly good. In a very real sense, joy is handcuffed to sorrow and afforded greater meaning because of it. Thus, believing that God loves me when life is perceived as good and that He disapproves of me when it is perceived as bad is simply too shallow a paradigm.
God is saying that our lives will have it all and that He is still in control in the midst of it all. Hardships and hurt are appointed and good, and nothing is haphazard and inconsequential. Easier read than lived, I know.
I don’t want to come across as patronizing to those dealing with pervasive abuse, battling terminal illness or trying to survive the heartbreaking loss of a loved one because pain, in the moment, is never pleasant. And I don’t possess words that would adequately appease the grief and frustration felt by those who are experiencing these types of pain and loss.
But what I do know is this…
Knowing that God is in control frees me from the burden of thinking that life is unfair
When the quality of and satisfaction we have with our lives are not based on how much good or how much bad we experience, but on a deeper trust in the character of God no matter what the season, we stand on firm ground.
The lowest valleys are connected to the highest peaks. The day will give way to the night. The night will pass and day will break. Are you enjoying the summer? It will be winter. Are you shivering in the middle of winter? Stay the course—it will be summer.
Two Latin proverbs express this succinctly: post gaudia luctus—“joys come after sorrow”; and post nubila phoebus—“the sun will burst from behind the cloud.”
True beauty and goodness are revealed when there is variety and contrast
It is the contrast that evokes deeper emotion and gratitude. Genesis 1:3-4 speaks of the value of this contrast: “And God said, ’Let there be light,’ and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness.” If the light was good, why didn’t He just keep it light 24/7? It’s because the only way we humans can know if something is good is if we can see it in contrast to something it isn’t—it’s opposite (i.e. darkness). So light, in itself, is not what is good; rather it is light with darkness that is good.
When life is chaotic, we can mistakenly doubt God’s love. Don’t! Stay the course. Keep worshiping and keep walking.
Suffering and trials have the potential to produce something that is good in you. Light and darkness, together, brings a greater beauty to the totality of your life’s picture. So keep in mind that God’s will for our lives is more dynamic and comprehensively beautiful than we can ever know.
Don’t lose yourself when everything is going well and don’t derail when things are falling apart.
As you live each day, expect to both gain and lose because through it all, God wants you to confess: “…I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:11-13, emphasis mine)