Gun Games and Parenting

On Sunday, when we got home after the retreat, I caught Jacob in a snowballing lie. He had taken Jenny's phone and said he wanted to play Jetpack (game app) and I didn't think anything of it. He quickly moved from the couch to the dinner table (I'm still not thinking anything). I had to get something from the kitchen, when Jacob started saying to himself, while wanting me to hear, "Jetpack, woo, Jetpack," as if to emphasize what he was doing (small light turns on in my head).

When I walked over to him, he turned the screen away from me (now, I'm sure he's up to something) and keep a straight face (which was pretty impressive, or troubling, for a 5 year old). 

Certain something was up, I asked, "Jacob, what are you playing." With a poker face that was beginning to crack, he said, "Jetpack."

I quickly bent over the screen and saw something that wasn't Jetpack. So I asked him again, what are you playing. He went silent. While taking the phone from him, he managed to press the home button, and while I was looking for what he was playing, he said, "I deleted it."

Who was this kid trying to fool? I ended up finding the game he was playing: Pixel Gun 3D, which is a multiplayer shooter game designed for kids. (Back story: I've previously had a conversation with Jacob about gun games and put parental controls on the tablet accordingly; but he found out his mom's phone doesn't have these restrictions, which was why he wanted it.)

Now he went frozen! He lost all strength in his voice and started to look like a jelly fish sitting in that chair.  

Surprisingly, it wasn't hard to control myself. I calmly spoke to him as I set him in front of me. But Jacob was guilty and felt it deep inside. He cried pretty uncontrollably. After giving him some time, I brought him really close to me and shared how I still loved him so much but that I was unhappy that he had repeatedly lied to me.  

Because of 3 direct lies, I told him that he could not watch or play anything on his tablet for the next 3 days, but more importantly, I explained and that he could trust me to tell me anything and that I would still love him despite his mistakes. 

By this time, he was wrapped around my torso as he sat on my lap and muttering through his tears, "Dad, I love you and I'm going to tell you the truth next time!" 

I just hugged him as hard as I could and said, "I love you, too!"

That was Sunday. Then came Tuesday (yesterday). Jenny's dad had picked up the boys after school because Jenny and I had a meeting, which ended up running a little late. Jenny went to pick up the boys afterwards and as they were coming home, Jacob fell asleep in the car. 

So this is what Jenny tells me this morning when Jacob got up: "Honey, Jacob listened to you." She explained that she had tested Jacob last night by telling him it was okay to play gun games and that he could use her phone and that dad wasn't here. He adamantly said, "no," and said that the game should be deleted. 

I was exuberant!  

I gave Jacob the biggest high five as Jenny said, "He has a really healthy fear of Dad." 

This is what I want! This is what we all need!